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            ..I love my garden..

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            ..fart, poop, pee..

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            ..workaholic maybe?



      

         Now I know for sure...

              you're 
      a Computer Addict

25 Ways for you to Know, You've Been Online too Long

01. Technical Support calls "YOU" for help.

            02. Someone at work tells you a joke & you say LOL 
            outloud.

            03. You keep begging your friends to get an account

                so "we can hang out".

            04. You've to get a 2nd phoneline so you can call Pizza Hut.

            05. You don't know where the time has gone.

            06. Your wife now complains of you moving your fingers

                in your sleep instead of talking.

            07. Your kids are eating cereal morning, noon, and night.

            08. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in

                the middle of the night when your wife is 
            asleep.

            09. You find yourself lying 2 others about your time online.

            10. You'd rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are     from 
            partying 2 much than the truth - online all night.

            11. Your dog leaves you.  Your wife threatens to...

            12. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet

                some folks face-to-face.

            13. You have a map on the wall with lots of red pins

                to mark where people are you have met.

            14. You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer.

            15. You go thru "withdrawal" if you are away from 
            the

                computer for more than a few hours.

            16. You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do

                is get online before you've your first cup 
            of coffee.

            17. Your relationship online has gone farther than

                any real one you have had.

            18. You get up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom but

                turn on the computer instead.

            19. You stop typing whole words and use things like

                brb, dunno and :-)

            20. You type faster than you think. 

            21. You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted. 

            22. You dream in "text". 

            23. You double click your TV remote.

            24. You check your E-mail and forget you have real mail.

            25. You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner

                because you wanted to "check your mail"

            

            





Music by Kraftwerk - Computer Love

 

         Some "Computer 
      Terms" you need to know

`TERMS BACKUP`	`What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods`
`BAR CODE`	`Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern`
`BUG`	`The reason you give for calling in sick`
`BYTE`	`What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro`
`CACHE`	`Needed when you run out of food stamps`
`CHIP`	`Pasture muffins that you try not to step in`
`TERMINAL`	`Time to call the undertaker`
`CRASH`	`When you go to Junior's party uninvited`
`DIGITAL`	`The art of counting on your fingers`
`DISKETTE`	`Female Disco dancer`
`FAX`	`What you lie about to the IRS`
`HACKER`	`Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking`
`HARDCOPY`	`Picture looked at when selecting tattoos`
`INTERNET`	`Where cafeteria workers put their hair`
`KEYBOARD`	`Where you hang the keys to the John Deere`
`MAC`	`Big Bubba's favorite fast food`
`MEGAHERTZ`	`How your head feels after 17 beers`
`MODEM`	`What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall`
`MOUSE PAD`	`Where Mickey and Minnie live`
`NETWORK`	`Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line`
`ONLINE`	`Where to stay when taking the sobriety test`
`ROM`	`Where the pope lives`
`SCREEN`	`Helps keep the skeeters off the porch`
`SERIAL PORT`	`A red wine you drink with breakfast`
`SUPERCONDUCTOR`	`Amtrak's Employee of the year`
`SCSI`	`What you call your week-old underwear`



      ...don't forget how it all started...

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